


Five Times I Wanted To Say I Love You And One Time I Actually Did

by theartificialwolf



Series: Old One Shots [7]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Cancer, Death, M/M, the single angstiest thing I've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:55:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theartificialwolf/pseuds/theartificialwolf
Summary: Five times Katya and Trixie wanted to tell each other 'I love you' and the one time Katya actually did





	

Trixie Mattel was something else. That clown makeup was crazy. She made no attempt to ever look fishy. Made Katya wonder what she looked like as a boy. When he was finally out of drag, he was cute. I mean like damn, really cute. Katya involuntarily found herself walking closer. “Hi, I’m Brian and I love- I love your look, Trixie.” That was a lie. He hated Trixie’s look. Trixie out of drag though…

-

Trixie was back. Pearl had won and Trixie remained. Katya may not have wanted anyone to come back but she was glad it was Trixie. She’d left on a challenge they’d collaborated on- a challenge Trixie had been the creative force behind. Katya had come out on top of that group. Katya nearly came out on top of this challenge. Mrs. Kasha Davis was wonderful but Katya would rather have Trixie any day. The other queens were begging to see Trixie’s dick. They’d all missed that huge uncut cock. Being in isolation for so long was beginning to wear on them all. After things had calmed down, Katya went over to Trixie. “Hey Trixie, I’ve always wanted to tell you, I love, I just really love your dick!” She cackled as Trixie threw her pantyhose at her. 

-

It was great to see Trixie after the show had ended. They did a gig, got paid and hit the town together, Trixie getting gloriously drunk. They were sitting ridiculously close to each other, Trixie well into her alcohol, ignoring everything else around them. “I missed you, Katya. I really like you,” Trixie slurred. “You’re my favorite person!” 

"And you’re mine. We should travel together more often. I love all of this,” giggled Katya before Trixie passed out. 

-

It was hard to believe that it had been 10 years since they’d all been on RuPaul’s Drag race. The show was in its 17th season and Ru still looked flawless- it was uncanny. The same could not be said for Michelle Visage however but that was another story. Everyone looked good but Katya’s eyes were drawn immediately to Trixie. Katya’s husband gently grabbed her arm. “Is that Trixie?” he asked. That’s her alright. She looked good, really good. A cute boy appeared and handed her a drink. That must be the boyfriend, Rich. She practically ran to Trixie. “I love your new sex doll, Trix. Got to love modern technology- they can bring you drinks now!” she exclaimed with false cheer, winking at the boy in question, trying to indicate to him that she was joking as the queens around them howled in laughter at the poor mortified boy’s expression.

-

Trixie was getting married and she looked every bit the blushing bride. She’d had a serious breakdown the night before and Katya had talked her through it, joking later that at 39 she was running out of options if she didn’t want to end up a spinster so she’d better suck it up and marry this guy because no one else would.

“What if someone else did and they were too afraid to fight for me?” Trixie whined. 

"Don’t kid yourself bitch!” Katya laughed. Trixie’s face fell. “I’m sorry! I was kidding. I love- I love your dress. Pink is really your color. Better than white.” Trixie plastered a smile on her face and continued to get ready.

-

It had been a rough divorce. So rough Katya had quite literally packed up and moved to Russia and stopped answering any of her messages, trying to forgot the painful life she’d left behind. She’d drifted away from her friends during the later course of her marriage, her husband jealous of her friends, her fame and her fortune. She was so blind. She never saw that he was cheating, gambling, controlling. In the end, there was nothing so Katya took what little she had left and moved across the world to rebuild herself. She kept to herself mostly but her thoughts always turned to one friend- someone she’d hurt so much when she was still married- Trixie Mattel. Of all people, her husband had been most jealous of Trixie. So Katya distanced herself from the other queen. After a year away from it all, Katya had come to a terrible realization. She’d loved Trixie from the first moment and her husband had seen that and he was jealous. Now all that mattered was finding Trixie again.  She found herself in the town Trixie lived in, hellbent on finding her friend. She got to the house but no one answered. 

“Trixie!” she cried out anguished, “Trixie!” Maybe someone would hear. 

A neighbor appeared. “You want the church on Main,” she said sympathetically. 

“Thank you,” she flashed a bright smile at the woman, who only frowned. Whatever. She had to get to Trixie. There were cars parked all around the church but Katya didn’t care. Trixie was there. Katya practically ran into the church and collided with a sleek dressed man in black.  

“Katya?” gasped Violet. “Oh my god you made it. We didn’t think you heard. We tried to contact you but you up and left the country. I’m so sorry.” Her big eyes were sympathetic, but the puffy redness indicated she'd been crying. “When Trixie was dying, she asked for you but no one knew where you went. Her last word was ‘Katya’.” 

It all hit Katya at once. She ran to the front of the church and collapsed at the sight.  Trixie was laid out in the peaceful repose of death. Katya began to sob.  A bony hand gripped her shoulder and Katya took it and pulled Violet closer to her. They both wept and wailed for their lost friend.  It felt like centuries had passed, crying beside Trixie’s casket with Violet. When Katya finally found her voice again, she had to ask. “How?”

 “Stage four pancreatic cancer. Hard to detect and impossible to cure. The chemo prolonged her life for a bit but we all knew it was terminal. She got the diagnosis the week after you disappeared,” Violet sniffed.  Katya looked tortured. What a cruel twist of fate. "I think she only held on as long as she did because she hoped you'd come back."

"I never got to to say what I wanted to her,” whispered Katya, anguished.  

“What did you want to tell her?” Violet whispered back. 

Katya turned away from Violet towards the remains of their friend. “Trixie Mattel, I love you. I’ve loved you since I first saw you. You’re the love of my life.”


End file.
